Lindsey Palmer is one of the most exciting and engaging new voices in women’s fiction today. Her latest release, OTHERWISE ENGAGED, is a pitch-perfect read about what happens when one woman’s perfectly planned life falls apart right before her eyes. It’s a smart, well-written, and thoughtful exploration into a woman’s mind during an extremely tumultuous time. Publisher’s Weekly put it perfectly when they wrote, “Love, jealousy, and friendship are explored in well-crafted prose… This novel is fun and consistently satisfying.” –Publishers Weekly. I was thrilled to get to interview Lindsey about her latest release.
Tell us the story behind the story. How did OTHERWISE ENGAGED come to be?
The title first popped into my head on the plane home from my honeymoon, and then the story followed from there. Although I loved my wedding itself, I was not a fan of planning it. I found the process overwhelming and tedious, and it put a lot of stress on my relationship, too, during a period when it seemed to me that we should’ve been happier than ever. As I chatted with other engaged and married people, I discovered that lots of folks felt similarly. So, I wanted to explore that pre-wedding phase of a relationship, and find a way to really raise the stakes. That’s how I came up with the premise of the book: The protagonist Molly’s fiance, Gabe, publishes a thinly-veiled romance novel about his ex-girlfriend, and then the ex reappears on the scene. How’s that for adding some stress to wedding planning?
What was the most challenging aspect of writing OTHERWISE ENGAGED?
Integrating the novel-within-the-novel. It was a fun exercise to think up and write snippets of Gabe’s novel. I enjoyed the meta aspect of it, thinking about a character I created, in turn, creating a character of his own who’s a version of himself. It was a challenge to figure out this plot and how it would mirror and complement the plot of the outer novel—especially when one of my goals was to explore this often blurry line between fact and fiction.
What is the message you want readers to take away from your book?
I’d like readers to be left thinking about the ways in which our pasts and presents interact and intertwine, and how our old relationships stay with us. Most of us would like to believe we’re constantly moving forward with our lives, but I think the reality is often messier and less linear.
I would also hope that readers are left thinking about the roles all of our relationships play in helping us make it through the day, month, year. The central relationship in Otherwise Engaged is a romantic one, but so much of Molly’s support and connection comes from her friendships and her family bonds. It’s a learning process for her to understand that she gets different things out of all of these different relationships, and how important this support system becomes when her relationship with Gabe starts to get rocky.
Describe your background. Did your background play a part in your book? Did you weave any true stories into your novel?
As I mentioned earlier, my own experience planning a wedding was a big part of this book’s inspiration. Additionally, this is my third novel, and my previous two—Pretty in Ink and If We Lived Here—also drew on my own experience. So, different people in my life have seen fictionalized versions of moments or events we’ve shared wind up in my work. I imagine that must be a strange and sometimes difficult experience, and I was curious about that. In Otherwise Engaged, we as readers witness Molly reading snippets of Gabe’s novel and we hear her range of reactions, from the charmed and entertained to the shocked and furious.
Besides writing novels, I write scripts for an ed tech company called BrainPOP. The scripts—on topics as diverse as Emily Dickinson, Coding, Mindfulness, and the Wright Brothers—get made into short animated movies for the classroom. Previously, I worked as a high school English teacher, and prior to that, for years as an editor at women’s magazines. I live in Brooklyn, NY with my husband and almost-2-year-old daughter.
Describe your writing schedule. Do you outline? Any habits?
I try to write on weekend mornings and one night a week. I begin a book with a clear idea of who my main characters are and a general sense of where I’m headed, and the rest I figure out as I go along. I tend to make big changes to the plot even in late drafts. I wish I could be the kind of writer who meticulously outlines ahead of time, and then doesn’t have to toss out big chunks of drafts… but alas, I haven’t yet figured out how to do that! I try not to think of those tossed pages as a waste; I figure I have to write those parts in order to find my way to the final product.
What books are on your nightstand? What are you currently reading?
I just finished a brilliant novel called Severance, by Ling Ma. It’s partly a story of a millennial New Yorker trying to get her footing as a grown-up as she ambles between a lackluster job and a lackluster relationship—and it’s partly a story of that same character navigating a new reality as a mysterious illness takes hold and devastates the world as she knows it. It’s the realest-feeling apocalyptic novel I’ve encountered—which in some ways made it the most terrifying.
I’m in the middle of Sigrid Nunez’s novel The Friend, which is a really beautiful meditation on grief and pain and writing and the different ways we seek and find comfort and connection.
I’m very excited to read Normal People, by Sally Rooney—I loved her Conversations with Friends. Also, Polly Rosenwaike’s story collection Look How Happy I’m Making You, which I’ve heard from fellow moms is some of the most brilliant writing about motherhood.
Which authors do you admire?
Dozens! I’ll just list a few, in no particular order. Elena Ferrante. Rachel Cusk. Jennifer Egan. Elizabeth Strout. George Saunders. Lorrie Moore. Mona Simpson. Curtis Sittenfeld. Edith Wharton. Jane Austen.
What have you learned from this experience?
That I can have a full-time job and a child and still finish a book! I did a big chunk of the edits of Otherwise Engaged with my infant daughter strapped to my chest. I’ve been struggling with the job-kid-writing balance lately, so it’s heartening to remember that I pulled it off before, so hopefully, I can find that rhythm again.
What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? What is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?
Be kind to yourself. I’ve been writing for a long time now, but personally, I don’t feel it ever gets any easier. And there are so many opportunities, page to page, even sentence to sentence, to berate oneself and get down on the process not going well. The more I can practice self-compassion, the more space there is for creativity and imagination. I would give that advice to my younger self and to my current self, too—it’s much easier said than done!
What are you working on now?
I’m in the beginning stages of writing a novel that takes place in a high school, told from the teachers’ perspectives. Since leaving classroom teaching, I’ve wanted to capture that world in fiction. Teaching is such an interesting job because you’re “on” all day long, as a figure of authority to 100-plus kids, and it’s all very intense and fast-paced but can also feel very lonely. The professional persona you’re forced to take on at the front of the classroom inevitably means tamping down certain parts of yourself, and I’m interested in the tensions that can create in the pressure-cooker environment of a school.
